WHAT IF GRACE?
by SANDEFUR
Summary: An alternate universe story.
1. Chapter 1

WHAT IF GRACE…?

by

SANDEFUR

Disclaimer: This is fan fiction just for fun. I have no claims.

X-X-X-X-X

"What am I to do with you, Miss Polk?" Principal Chadwick asks.

"Suspend me?"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"I'd love it. The sooner I can put this monument to hypocrisy behind me, the better."

"Grace, you say that, and to some extent I believe you mean it, but you are too smart to pretend a high school education isn't important."

"I'm not smart."

"Your I. Q. tests say otherwise, not to mention your consistent high grades on classroom tests. Why do you bother showing up for the tests while skipping nearly all of the classes?"

"I take the tests to prove I can do the work, that this isn't about the classes being too hard. I skip the classes to protest this joke of an education. Do you know my Asian History textbook begins with Marco Polo? It's like Asia didn't matter until some white guy showed up to validate its' existence."

"I am familiar with that textbook, and the Marco Polo story is found only in the Foreword as a way to hook the interest of students raised in a western culture. If you look further into the book you will see it starts in the stone age and goes through to modern times. There are few mentions of contacts with Europeans."

"I read it. I passed the first test didn't I? In fact, I've passed all of my tests since school began. So why all of the fuss? I know the material – flawed though it may be."

"Grace, your education is about more than taking tests. Classroom involvement provides a fuller learning experience. I have tried to be lenient with you, tried to accommodate your radical politics and disruptive ways because I believe you have a lot of potential. But, state standards will soon take this matter out of my hands. If your absenteeism, tardiness and class skipping continues, I'll have no choice but to suspend you."

Grace smiles. "Good."

"Three suspensions during a school year means expulsion."

"My ultimate goal. Either you'll kick me out, or I'll quit when I turn sixteen in March."

"You'll have to endure a lot of detentions to reach your 'ultimate goal'. Are you so fond of detention with Mr. Price?"

"Gavin? Helluva nice guy. That's why he's soo popular with the student body." Grace replies, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Chadwick sighs. "I'll have to call in your father for another discipline conference."

Grace shrugs.

"Or…perhaps it should be your mother this time?"

Grace tries not to show it, but there is a crack in her facade of indifference. Chadwick notices and recalls that although he has met Rabbi Polonsky several times, he has never seen Mrs. Polonsky…

"Yes, I definitely think we should bring your mother into this matter."

"No!"

"Why not, Grace?"

Grace tries hard to hide her panic. The thought of her drunk everyday mother showing up at school is her worse nightmare. "Uh, my Mom is sick. She's much too ill to be making a trip to the school."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Grace. I could of course come to your home…"

"Leave my Mom alone!"

"Alright Grace, there's no need to bother her…as long as your attendance improves."

Grace grits her teeth, angry that she has revealed a weakness. "Fine. I'll go to class. Can I leave now?"

"Yes Miss Polk, and have a good evening."

Grace hastily exits, accidentally bumping into the attendance lady… "Sorry, Mrs. Girardi."

"That's okay, Grace. How are you doing?"

"Dealing with the usual high school crap." Grace mutters as she rushes out of the office.

Grace didn't mean to be rude to Mrs. Girardi, one of the few people she likes at this school, but she has to get out of here! There are times when it feels like the walls of the school are closing in on her, and this is one of those times. Grace runs outside and is glad to see there are only a handful of students still lingering about this late in the afternoon. She takes a few deep breaths of air and begins to calm down. Grace spots her only friend…

"Rove, you waited?"

"Hey Grace…" Adam mumbles, his attention not straying from his sketchbook.

"It's so late."

"It is?"

Grace shows Adam her watch – he doesn't wear one of his own.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I better head home before Dad starts to worry. Are we going to study for Chem tonight?"

Grace sighs. Of all of her classes, AP Chem has been the toughest, mostly due to her missing nearly all of the lab experiments. "Yeah, I suppose. Chadwick read me the riot act, and I'll have to at least make a partial show at effort until the heat is off. So, tonight at eight in your shed?"

"Cool. Too bad we don't have a third partner like the other groups to share the load."

(Due to the class size, one of the study groups has to be short by one member.)

Grace snorts, "Who would want to team up with sub-defectives?"

A sly grin crosses Adam's face. "I can think of one guy…"

"Don't say it."

"Luke Girardi. You know he has a crush on you."

"That's crap." Grace automatically says but with doubt in her voice. Ever since school began three weeks ago, the blond newcomer has been smiling, blushing and making lame attempts at flirting with her. This is a new experience for Grace, and her usual level of hostility has had no effect on the clueless Girardi boy.

Adam continues, "Luke is the smartest guy in class. If you were willing to…"

"To do what?" Grace asks with an edge to her voice.

Adam hesitates before replying, "We could really use his help, Grace. I'm sure Luke would jump at the chance to be in our study group if you'd just be…nice."

"NICE? Have you met me? Rove, I will never, ever flirt my way to any goal. Understand?"

"Cha. Grace you wouldn't have to… I mean, all you would have to do is pretend to have a little interest in him."

"Lead-him-on?"

Adam realizes what he is suggesting and blushes. "Sorry. You're right, that would be cruel. Sorry…"

Adam walks away looking dejected. Grace calls after him… "Tonight at eight, okay?"

Adam looks over his shoulder and nods. He moves on, lost in his own thoughts. Grace watches her friend walk away and worries about how he is doing. It has been nearly two years since Adam's mother committed suicide, but he still has more bad days than good. Grace sighs and begins the long walk home, which she prefers to taking the bus. The longer she can put off tonight's usual family melodrama the better.

As Grace cuts through the park across from the high school, she spots a weirdo sitting on a park bench. There are a handful of Goths at Arcadia High, but Grace doesn't recognize this one. Grace ignores him as she walks by, but the weird guy stands and starts to walk along with her…

"I'd like to talk with you."

"Get lost."

"It's important we speak, Grace."

He knows her name? Well, she isn't exactly inconspicuous at school. "Beat it, jerk. I'm not interested."

"How do you know until you hear what I have to say?"

"Look, whatever line you're thinking of using on me, forget it. In case you're blind, I'm not into guys, and even if I were to make an exception, it wouldn't be for a weirdo like you."

Grace walks faster and is relieved the Goth Kid stops, but he confidently calls out to her, "You're not gay, Grace."

Grace keeps going but winces at his words. Of course she isn't gay, just as Adam isn't a stoner, but they choose to let the world make their assumptions in order to keep others at arm's length. The fact is, the very thought of letting any guy get close to her causes Grace to panic. Not that any guy has ever tried to get close, except for Luke Girardi, who apparently is too dim to pick up on Grace's general vibe. For a moment Grace thinks about Luke and concedes that for a geek he is kinda cute… No! What is she thinking?

"You are attracted to him, Grace."

Grace snaps out of her reverie. There on the bus bench in front of her is the same Goth Kid, but how…? She left him two blocks back and at her pace, the only way he could have got ahead of her is if he ran right by her. She couldn't have missed that, besides, he isn't breathing hard.

"What the hell do you want with me?" Grace demands as she slowly backs away. It is still daylight and there are people about, but she is taking no chances. Casually she removes the biker's wallet from her back pocket. It is weighted down with rolls of pennies, and by swinging it with the attached chain, Grace can deliver a devastating blow.

"There is nothing of hell about our meeting, and there is no need to defend yourself, Grace. I would never harm you."

"How do you know me?"

"I've known you all of your life. I knew you before you were born."

"Bull. First, you're not old enough and second, there's no way I'd ever miss seeing someone who looks like you. Are you on drugs? Insane? What do you want?"

"There is a task I want you to perform for me, Grace."

"And why would I do anything for you?"

"Because, I'm God."

Grace snorts derisively. "Like I thought, a nutjob."

Grace starts to walk away but Goth Kid God calls after her, "Five years ago when your father reclaimed the Polonsky family name, you chose to stick with Polk. You did that because your grandfather asked you to."

Grace turns on her heel and stares at the odd stranger. "Yeah, that's right, but that isn't too hard to guess at. My Grandpa and his cousins were all teenagers when they fled Poland one step ahead of the Nazis. When they arrived in America they were naturally freaked out about anti-Semitism and didn't know if it would arise here. Most of the family, including Grandpa, changed their names to Polk and tried to hide their roots. Later, when they realized they were safe, they resumed being openly Jewish but kept 'Polk' because many already had children bearing that name." (*from my story, SAINT PATRICK'S DAY)

"But then your father married his distant cousin, who was born a Polonsky. When he became rabbi at the temple, he fulfilled his promise to Sarah and returned to the original family name."

"Uh...yeah, which caused a rift between Dad and Grandpa. All of this you could have learned through internet searches and by listening to gossip at the Temple. It doesn't mean you're God, you freak!"

Goth Kid God smiles and responds, "Last year to celebrate Adam's birthday, you climbed Mount Nashman together. At the top of the mountain you allowed Adam to sketch you topless." (*my story, MT. NASHMAN)

Grace blushes. "How...? Rove swore...!"

"Grace, you know Adam would never betray your trust."

Grace hesitates, acknowledging this is true. She begins to wonder... "Okay, one more time - an event from my past. If you're really God, you know what I mean."

A look of great sadness crosses Goth Kid's face. "Begining when you were four, continuing for over a year, you were molested..." (*my story, THREE TWELVE)

Grace slaps Goth Kid's face as hard as she can. "Damn you! Damn you. What kind of a God let's an innocent child go through that? Damn you..."

Grace's voice fades away as she drops to her knees sobbing. Goth Kid gently helps Grace up to the bench, holding her in his arms until she has cried herself dry...

"Grace, I am so sorry for what you went through. I gave humanity the gift of free will, but sadly many abuse that gift by doing unspeakable things."

Grace reaches into her pocket and removes a wad of paper napkins. She wipes her eyes and blows her nose...

"So that's it? People suffer and you do nothing? Is old man Knopf at least burning in hell?"

"He died unrepentant of his sins, so yes. But Grace, I don't stand idly by. I eagerly await prayers of faith so I may help people by my power and by the actions of my chosen instruments."

"Instruments? Like...God's agents?"

"In a sense."

"Then why didn't you send one of those 'instruments' to help me?"

"You were thought to be safe, so no one was praying for you. Also, those who serve as my instruments are surprisingly few and far between. I call on many, but it is rare to find someone with the faith and courage to act...Grace."

"Me? You want me to serve 'You' after you let me down?"

"Think of it as an opportunity to save an innocent in danger."

A war of conflicting emotions crosses Grace's face. She sighs. "You're a real piece of work. What do I do?"

X-X-X-X-X

Grace stands in front of Skylight Books, confirming her assignment - 'Help Wanted'. After leaving God, Grace immediately travelled to this location while dismissing the various doubts occuring to her. It would be so easy to put this off, to reconsider, but Grace has a decisive, act now personality. Besides, Grace has always believed in a God who was too weird to understand. The Goth version actually makes sense to her, even though the last thing he mentioned was that he would not always look the same.

Grace enters. A fan of bookstores, Grace has been here before, but this store is too upscale with too little in the way of radical literature for her tastes. She sees the owner is behind the counter handling a line of customers waiting to check out. Nearby there are open boxes of books waiting to be shelved. No kidding about needing help.

While waiting for the owner, Sammy, to be less busy, Grace wanders over to the magazine section. She spots the copies of that day's Arcadia Herald and begins reading the headline story. The murdered body of an 18 year old girl was found during the night. The victim, Abigail Dorsette, was brutally beaten and raped before being killed. The police were revealing few details. Grace ponders this report. Murder is rare in Arcadia, and the killing of a teenage girl is almost unheard of. Goth Kid revealed a great evil had entered the city. It is too late to help this girl, but could he have meant by saving an innocent...

"Can I help you?"

Grace looks up and sees there are no more customers in line. "I'm here for the job."

"Really..." Sammy says as he looks Grace up and down, taking in her leather jacket, faded jeans and defiant attitude. "Have you any experience working in a bookstore?"

"This would be my first job, but how hard can it be? Stock shelves, clean up, run a register - hardly takes an Einstein."

"You also have to be able to answer customer's questions. For instance, if someone asked you to name all four books of the Alexandria Quartet, could you?"

"Has anyone ever asked you that?"

"Well...no, but the point is you have to be well versed in literature to be of use, and you obviously aren't. Besides, you hardly fit the image of this store."

Grace bristles at being judged on her appearance. "Oh, 'I' don't? Have you looked in a mirror lately? You run a bookstore geared to the upper middle class, but you dress like a college freshman. Have you updated your wardrobe in the last twenty years?"

Sammy frowns at Grace's response, which confirms his opinion of her. "Get out. I wouldn't give you this job if you were the last smart-mouthed teenager on earth."

Angry, Grace storms to the door and just as she is leaving she hurls back, "By the way, jerk, the four books of the Alexandria Quartet are: Justine, Balthazar, Mountolive and Clea."

Grace exits, slamming the door behind her while muttering under her breath a string of foul words to describe the bookstore owner. But...what does she do now? She has blown her assignment and now some innocent person will suffer for her failure. Grace spots a restaurant across the street and heads that way, noting that the sun is setting. Once inside the restaurant, Grace takes a booth near the front and glares at the bookstore across the street...

"Coffee, hon?"

Grace looks up and nods to the African-American waitress. She pours a cup of coffee and lingers...

"You didn't get the job."

Grace looks back at the waitress, shocked but instantly getting the idea.

"I told you I would look different the next time we met, Grace." Waitress God says with a smile.

"I blew it! That Sammy guy will never hire me now."

"For future reference, aggression is rarely the best way to achieve a goal."

"So does this mean an innocent person will suffer because I failed? Is there nothing I can do?"

"You have good instincts, Grace. What do you think is going on here?"

Grace looks again at the bookstore. "You sent me to get a job there. A part time, minimum wage bookstore job would attract mostly high school girls... Hey, is that Sammy guy some sort of axe murderer?"

"Be objective, Grace." Waitress God says as she walks away giving a backhanded wave.

Grace barely notices as she focuses on the possibilities. The Sammy guy is ultra annoying, but he doesn't seem dangerous. On the other hand, Grace can easily imagine a string of upset, failed applicants storming out of the store. If someone was looking for a supply of vulnerable girls... Hey wait, isn't that Lindsay Mitchell? She's a junior at A.H.S., and she looks outraged - like she just got the 'Sammy treatment'. An instinctive chill runs down Grace's spine and she races out of the restaurant.

By the time Grace reaches the street, she can see a man in his thirties has joined Lindsay. He gestures toward the bookstore and whatever he says causes Lindsay to laugh her agreement. Grace carefully begins to approach the pair while the stranger continues to charm the teenage girl. He asks Lindsay a question that causes her to hesitate before nodding. The pair begin walking down the sidewalk while Grace quietly comes nearer. The creepy guy opens the door to a crappy car, obviously inviting Lindsay to join him, which she is apparently about to do. Grace realizes she can wait no longer...

"Oh my God!" Lindsay screeches as the man beside her suddenly collapses, a small trickle of blood coming from the back of his head. Lindsay turns... "Grace Polk? Have you lost your mind?"

"Me? Hey, are you the crazy one? Getting into a car with a strange man? I knew better than that when I was six!" Grace responds as she returns the weighted biker's wallet to her back pocket.

Lindsay blushes a little as she mentally agrees she has been foolish. But... "I just got rejected for a job by this incredible jerk named Sammy. I was so upset when I stormed out of the bookstore, I literally bumped into this man, Mr. Smith. When I apologized and explained, he was very sympathetic. It turns out he is a partner in the Apex Bookstore and knows 'Sammy' as a competitor. He calmed me down by telling a couple of funny stories about that pompous little jerk. Mr. Smith said there was an opening at his store, but I would have to get in an application right away before his partner hired someone else. He...offered to drive me to his store. I know I shouldn't take a ride with a stranger, but he seemed so nice. Is he okay?"

Kneeling beside the man Grace replies, "His breathing is regular and he's only bleeding a little. Yeah, he's just knocked out."

"You are going to be in so much trouble over this." Lindsay says, feeling a little guilty. She only knows this sophomore by reputation, but apparently Grace acted out of concern for her safety.

"Maybe." Grace says as she searches the man's pockets and finds a ring of keys. "Let's see what kind of a bookstore owner your Mr. Smith really is."

Grace opens the trunk of the crappy car and begins to search. It doesn't take her long to find a bloody paper bag hidden under the spare tire. Grace empties out the contents - panties, at least a dozen of them, most of them torn. Grace and Lindsay both shudder as they imagine how this man, this monster, acquired these 'trophies'.

As a police car comes to a halt next to them, Lindsay Mitchell realizes how close she came to being another victim. She quietly gasps, "Oh God..."

To Be Continued. Please Review.


	2. Chapter 2

RAMSEY

(I decided to try a second chapter of this AU version of Grace being God's chosen instrument.)

X-X-X-X-X

12-8-03, Monday

"Dude, no offense, but your sister is like a pathetic fluffhead."

Luke tries not to laugh, but a small chuckle escapes his lips as he and Grace watch Joan and her fellow cheeleaders walk by. Their rapid fire gossip about cute guys, girls they can't stand and a sale at the mall fades as they continue walking down the hall. Joan didn't acknowledge her brother, but Luke expected that. It's awkward having a geek brother when you are trying to fit in with the cool and popular crowd. Besides, Joan and Grace haven't got along ever since Joan tried to find out for her friends if Grace was "a big lezbo".

Luke comments, "On the other hand, now that Joan is a cheerleader, she has to maintain at least a C plus average, so her grades have slightly improved."

"That's a helluva incentive to get a better education." Grace replies while thinking of her own incentive to do better, which occurred when Street Sweeper God told her to stop wasting her potential. That caused Grace to invite Luke to join her and Adam in their study group for AP Chem. By a long chain of events that led to Kevin Girardi getting a car with handicap controls and curiously, the arrest of the fire chief for arson.

Luke says, "Anyway, back to our science fair project, I was thinking of doing something with Heisenberg's uncertainty principle…"

Suddenly there appears Adam being slammed into the lockers, followed by Steve Ramsey who punches Adam in the guts and across the mouth. Grace doesn't hesitate to launch herself between the two guys…

"Leave him alone!"

"Stay out of this, Grace." Ramsey warns as he draws back his fist again.

Luke starts forward to help. He is not a violent person by nature but his friendship (okay, attraction) for Grace is a strong motivator. He only wishes he had paid more attention when his dad tried to teach him self-defense.

"Ramsey!" the strong voice of Gavin Price calls out in warning. (Ramsey hesitates and then lowers his fist.) "In my office now, Mr. Ramsey…as well as you and you."

Grace and Adam, being the 'you and you', follow along. Luke watches them depart and experiences a rare moment of gratitude for the school's vice principal. The three students arrive in the office and Ramsey goes in first with Price while the attendance lady, Mrs. Girardi, helps Adam with his bleeding lip. Grace collapses onto the bench near the door and waits her turn. She barely notices the unknown chubby girl sitting next to her.

"The Crystal Ball – an excellent dating opportunity." the chubby girl says.

Grace takes the offered flier, the same as the others plastered all over the school, and gulps a little nervously. "Uh, thanks for the invitation, but I think school dances are pathetic. I really wasn't planning to go."

"You definitely should go, Grace."

"Oh…it's YOU. So this is an assignment?"

"A suggestion, but a strong one."

"Okay, I guess I could go stag…"

"Dating opportunity, remember?"

Grace sighs heavily. "Then, I guess I can go with Luke. I think he was working up the courage to ask me."

"Actually, I want you to go with…him." Chubby Girl God says as Ramsey storms by them.

Price calls out, "This is your last chance, Mr. Ramsey!"

As Adam follows Price into his office, Grace reacts, "You've got to be kidding me. Ask out Ramsey after he just beat up my best friend? Rove would hate my guts for betraying him like that."

"I wouldn't ask if this wasn't important, and you need to decide right now."

Grace groans, mutters something about pushy deities, and hurries after Ramsey. She finds him at his locker, venting his anger by beating on it over and over.

"Now there's something we have in common."

"What do you want, Grace? I'm not in a mood to talk over old times."

"Hey, I get it. This place can really frustrate you. I've beaten up my own locker more than once. But I've never turned a friend into a punching bag."

"Adam and me ain't friends any more."

"No kidding. But why do you keep hurting him, Steve? We use to be friends."

"That was a long time ago, stuff changes…"

"And life sucks, and Arcadia High is one step away from being in hell, but that still doesn't excuse beating up on a guy who would never fight back. Why do you have to pick on him?"

"I don't know. He goes around thinking he's so much better than others because he's an 'artist'. Some artist. He twists up tinfoil and welds crap together and people think he's some kinda genius. This is the same guy I use to help blow up model airplanes with firecrackers. Some genius."

Grace wonders if it is her imagination, but did she hear a touch of wistfulness in that statement? Grace recalls how the three of them use to hang out together when they were younger – before Adam's mom killed herself and Steve's mother divorced his dad and married a jerk who couldn't stand his stepson.

"Maybe you could find a better outlet for all of that angry energy. Like…the semiformal?" Grace says as she hands Ramsey the dance flier.

Ramsey glances at the flier and snickers. "You want to go with me to the semiformal? I thought you sang in the other choir, Grace."

"Maybe…I sing in both."

"Huh, that's kind of hot – if it were true. But what's the real reason?"

"Okay, you and I both know school dances are lame: 'The Crystal Ball'? Oh, please. But, if the two of us went together, think how we would shock the local yokels. We might even be able to stir up a little trouble. Sound like fun?"

Ramsey smiles as he thinks how the rest of the school would react to the two of them on a date at a school dance. "Okay, you got a deal, but…you have to wear a sexy dress."

Grace's stomach turns but she hides her distress. "A-And you have to promise to leave Adam alone."

"So, that's what this is really all about. Okay Grace, you and me this Thursday, but don't be surprised if I expect more than just a few dances…"

X-X-X-X-X

That evening around the Polonsky dinner table there is the usual silence. Rabbi Polonsky is still focused on his day, going over counseling sessions with members of his flock, thinking of tomorrow's appointments, etcetera. Besides, dinner conversations in this house too often lead to arguments. How many times can he suggest to his wife that she is drinking too much? (Actually, for her, this evening hasn't been that bad - yet.) And Grace, the simplest question can lead to the most unpleasant arguments at a time of the day when he just would like to relax...

"Dad, can I have money to buy a new dress?"

Aaron Polonsky pauses, his forkful of chicken and rice halfway to his mouth. "Did you say 'dress'?"

Grace doesn't make eye contact as she rushes through the next part. "Yeah, there's this dumb dance at school this Thursday, and...I'm going."

Even Sarah Polonsky pauses in her drinking to react, "You're going to a dance? With...a boy?"

"Of course with a boy."

"Who?" the Polonskys ask in unison.

"Remember Steve Ramsey?"

"Steve? I haven't heard you mention him in years. So...the two of you like each other again?" Aaron asks.

Grace shrugs. "He's just someone to go with. So, the dress?"

Sarah gets a little weepy eyed as she stares at her daughter. "Aww, my little girl on her first date. Tomorrow, I'll take you to the mall to pick out a nice dress, get some makeup and perfume..."

Grace listens in horror to these plans. Her nightmare is a trip to the mall with her always at least half drunk mother for all the world to see - like Joan Girardi, who would spread it around all over school or at the very least...tell Luke.

"Mom, no. I want to do this myself. Please, I'm not a kid any more. I can pick out my own clothes."

Rabbi Polonsky understands all too well why Grace wants to shop on her own. "Sarah, she has a point. Grace has her own taste, her own style and we should trust her to choose. Grace, I'll let you have one of my credit cards and you can buy whatever you like for this special occasion."

"Thanks Dad." Grace says with relief as she tries to ignore the hurt look in her mother's eyes.

X-X-X-X-X

"Hey Rove, you in here?" Grace asks as she enters Adam's shed. She spots him at his work desk, sketching. Grace gives him a careful once over, noting the slight bruising near his mouth. "That doesn't look too bad."

With a wince, Adam briefly lifts his t-shirt, revealing a massive amount of bruising. "Steve always likes to get in close and work the body."

A look of sadness crosses Grace's face. If she were a different type of girl, and Adam was a different type of guy, she would be giving him a gentle hug of comforting. "Yeow, that looks painful. So what set him off this time?"

Adam shrugs and again winces. "I was coming out of art class, Ms Jankow was complimenting me on my latest project, and as soon as she went back inside, Steve was all over me. I never saw it coming."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. Steve still beats you up about...two or three times a year? I bet you'd do anything to get him to stop."

"Cha."

"Well, I wanted to tell you before you heard it from anyone else, I'm going with him to the semiformal this Thursday." (Adam stares at Grace, dumbfounded.) "I can explain..."

"You don't have to. Grace, no, you can't do this. I don't want you to make a sacrifice like this to help me."

"Rove, we have two and a half more years of high school to go. That's like eight more beatings, if you're lucky. Next time, who knows what will happen? If I can do anything to help mend fences between you two..."

"Grace, you can't. Steve isn't like he was when we were kids. He's gotten mean - really mean. He fights all the time, he's mad as hell at everyone and it's true what people say about him and guns. You can tell, the only time he seems even halfway calm is after he's been shooting down at the old abandoned dump. Grace, he's dangerous!"

"Yeah, I know Steve isn't like the way he was, and by the way, he was a bit mean and violent even when we were kids. But, I think there's some of the guy we use to know and like still in there. A lot of his trouble is that he doesn't have anyone on his side. After his parents' divorce, he had a hard time adjusting and drove away all of his friends - mostly us, but we can change that. It's worth the risk if I can get him to stop hurting you."

"No Grace, you could get hurt. I won't let you..."

"Won't let me? Since when do you dictate how I live my life? I'm doing this Rove, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

X-X-X-X-X

Luke hangs up the phone and returns to the living room to join the rest of the family for the end of movie they were watching: 'The Quiet Man'. Luke resumes his seat but his attention strays from the John Wayne classic as he is thinking of his conversation with Adam. The lights go up and Will retrieves the film from the VCR.

Joan moans, "Thank God that's over. It was so borrring!"

Helen responds, "You didn't like it, sweetheart? I thought it was very romantic."

Kevin adds, "And, it wasn't in black and white."

"Okay, it wasn't the dullest film we've ever watched on movie night, but it was close. It was even better than that 'McClintock' movie we watched a couple of months ago with the same actors, but even so..."

Will interrupts, "Who was on the phone, son? Anything important?"

"Uh, maybe. That was Adam Rove and he was worried..."

Joan jokes, "Why, did he run out of weed?"

Luke replies, "He's not a stoner."

"Yeah, right."

Helen asks, "What was bothering Adam?"

"He was concerned about our...friend, Grace Polk."

Joan asks, "Is this about her asking Steve Ramsey to the semiformal?"

"You knew?"

"It was all over school by the end of the day. You would have to be a total on the outs loser not to have heard... Oh, never mind."

Helen asks, "Grace Polk is going to the dance with that awful Ramsey boy?"

Will asks, "Who's Ramsey?"

Joan replies, "He's like this total psycho. He's always getting into fights, back talking teachers and I hear he has like this arsenal of guns..."

"Guns? Helen, is this true?"

"I don't know about the guns, but Ramsey has been in trouble with Principal Chadwick and Mr. Price since the day I started at Arcadia High. It's only December and he's been suspended twice. One more time and he will be expelled."

Luke pleads, "Dad, can you help? Grace is my friend, and I'm worried for her safety."

Will replies, "Normally I wouldn't interfere in something like this, but if an angry, out-of-control teenage boy has access to guns... Okay Luke, I'll do a background check and if anything too alarming shows up, I'll have a word with Grace's parents."

"Thanks Dad."

Helen states, "Okay, let's clean up this mess."

Kevin says, "I've got the popcorn bowls."

Will and Helen grab the various drink glasses and follow Kevin to the kitchen. Joan lingers, watching Luke with a smirk on her face as he sweeps up crumbs from the sofa...

"So, Grace is your 'friend'? Are you really concerned or just jealous?"

"I don't know what you mean. Of course I'm concerned - we all know Ramsey's reputation, and of course Grace is my friend. We are in the same study group, we are partners for the science fair..."

"And you like her. I've seen the way you look at her when she's over here studying with that weird Adam guy. You practically drool over Grace Polk, though God knows why."

"I do not. Do I? I mean, I like Grace - as a friend and a study partner. She has an interesting viewpoint to life and is a lot smarter than most people realize, but I'm not...you know."

"I'm glad, Dog-boy. Your love life is already destined to be pretty pathetic without you crushing on a lesbian!"

X-X-X-X-X

12-9-03, Tuesday.

Grace walks along, lost in her thoughts and enjoying the crisp night air. There are times when only being alone, away from the prying eyes of the world, that she can be calm. Today was a particularly stressful day at Arcadia High as the news about her and Ramsey had reached everyone's ears. People were freaking out, especially when they saw the two of them strolling down the halls together like they were a couple. Stares and whispered comments followed them everywhere and Grace had to admit, she liked stirring up the complacent attitudes of the gossipy kids at school. Ramsey also seemed to enjoy how much they were shocking the others and for the first time in years, he and Grace seemed to be genuinely getting along. It was nice to have someone on his side for a change.

The day did have a lot of drawbacks for Grace. Rove was mad and worried about her plan to go with Ramsey to the dance. The assumption that she was taking this risk just for his sake had him overwhelmed with concern and gratitude for Grace's friendship. This left Grace feeling guilty for she never would have considered doing this if it weren't for God's assignment, which is something she cannot share with Rove. Oh, she tried to tell him the truth once, but Cute Boy God popped up and talked her out of it, saying that Adam already had enough burdens for him to carry. And then there was Luke... Outwardly he seemed the same as always, talking about their science fair project and how as head of the decorating committee he was obligated to attend the dance, but Grace could sense a subtle shift in his attitude. Between the lines Grace could detect concern, maybe a little jealousy and...disappointment in her? Hey, who was he to judge who she went out with? Luke Girardi has no claims on her, even if she did kind of, sort of wished he did.

As Grace approaches her house, she feels her mood shifting again. She really isn't up to facing the usual family melodrama - not tonight. She missed dinner, explaining over the phone to her father that she was attending an anarchist's meeting. Rabbi Polonsky was use to this and made no objection as he suspected Grace's desire to avoid her homelife was a stronger motivation than politics. Grace is hungry as the only food at the meeting was some 'cookies'. (All organic, gluten free, high fiber, vegan, etc. In other words, hocky pucks with a hint of cinnamon.) She spots Ramsey's truck - he is a few months older and already has his license. Grace startles Ramsey by suddenly hopping into the passenger side...

"Dude, are you stalking me?"

"Grace...! Jeez! No...I just thought you might want to hang for awhile."

"So you sit out here staring at my house? Or did you knock on the door?"

"I was just waiting for you to get back. There was no light on in your bedroom, so I figured you were out."

Grace recalls that Ramsey, as a former close friend, had been in her house lots of times and knew where her bedroom was. "Was there nothing good on TV?"

"Look, if you want me to go..."

"Got money for burgers?"

"Yeah..."

"Then let's roll."

X-X-X-X-X

The gun bangs loudly followed by a puff of smoke. Grace shouts with joy as the old Coke bottle shatters - no matter that she was aiming for the tin can next to it...

"Woo! I can see why you like doing this. It's a helluva stress release."

Ramsey grins and Grace seeing that, grins back. "Try rapid fire. You won't hit much but..."

Grace needs no further encouragement. Quickly, she begins squeezing off round after round until the clip is emptied. She pauses as her ears adjust and the echoes of the shots stop rebeverating in the old junkyard. As predicted, she fails to hit a single target.

"Now that was fun, but don't bullets like these cost a lot of money?"

Ramsey shrugs. "Even more than normal. I can't buy ammo at my age, so I have to get them through a guy I know who charges me an extra handling fee. That's why I don't do this as often as I want. Like you said, it relieves the stress."

"I remember when we were kids, you use to have an old .22. What happened to it?"

Ramsey takes back the pistol and disassembles it for cleaning. "I outgrew it. I included it with a wad of cash when I traded for the 9mm."

Grace sits on the edge of the old refrigerator that Ramsey uses for a storage locker. She watches for a moment as he carefully, almost lovingly cleans the gun. "Is it true you use that to shoot squirrels?"

Ramsey laughs. "Is that what they say? What would I want with a bunch of dead squirrels?"

"Then this is just for target practice? You don't have any other reason for the gun?"

"I'm not some psycho, Grace - if that's what you're worried about. I'll admit, I...get mad, a lot, and I don't always think straight..."

"So you can see how people might be worried...especially when you add in this!" Grace says as she pulls a pint of cheap whiskey from the old fridge.

"It's not even open. I've been saving it for a special occasion."

"Like our date? Because if you think..."

"No Grace, I would never offer you booze. I've known the truth about your mom for years."

Grace glares for a moment and then blushes. "You know? How do you know?"

"Becky told me."

Grace mind flashes back to her younger days. At one time they were a group of four: Adam, Steve, herself and her best girl friend, Becky. When they were eight, Becky came for a sleepover at her house and Sarah Polonsky promised she would not get drunk. It had been a successful evening with Grace's mom only drinking a moderate amount of wine. But the next morning, when the two young girls hurried down to the kitchen for their promised pancakes, they found Mrs. Polonsky passed out. Becky stopped talking to Grace after that and her family moved away a couple of months later. Grace never blamed Becky for ending their friendship. They were just kids, and Becky didn't know how to react, or what to say about such a disturbing adult situation.

"You've known all of these years and you never said anything?"

Ramsey shrugs. "We've all got family crap to deal with. My step-dad rides my ass all of the time, my real Dad barely talks to me, and...doesn't really like me. They're all just waiting for me to fail so they can gloat and kick me to the curb for being such a loser. One day...one day they'll be sorry."

"Then why don't you fool them and not be what they expect? Steve, it's not too late to turn your life around and be a decent guy - a winner."

"Of course it's too late, Grace. Price won't leave me alone, and sooner or later he's going to expel me from school and then my life will really be over."

"If that's your biggest fear, then you sure are heading down a strange path. It's like you are running toward a cliff that you know is coming. Stop. Reverse course."

"Do you think I haven't tried? Do you think I like being such a...jerk? I try to keep my temper under control, but it's like the fuse is always lit and I don't know what will set me off next. I wasn't even able to work this out in my head when I was in crazy camp."

"You were in Gentle Acres?"

Ramsey becomes flustered at having let slip too much information.

Grace hastily adds, "Hey, we're sharing secrets. No judgments from either of us about anything. So, weren't they able to help you at all at that dumb camp?"

Ramsey shrugs. "I spent a lot of time talking with my therapist, 'Dr. Dan', but that just gave me new things to be pissed off about. The only thing that seemed to work was the medication they gave me."

"You're not still taking it?"

"It calmed me down, but it also made life...fuzzy. I felt disconnected from everything, including myself. I couldn't live like that."

"Did you ever ask for a milder dose?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, a bit less so it will take the edge off of your temper without you being overly 'fuzzy'."

Ramsey returns the pistol to the old fridge and secures it with a chain and lock. He is silent for a couple of minutes while he contemplates Grace's words.

"Milder dose..."

X-X-X-X-X

12-11-03, Thursday night.

While the Crystal ball was going on, Will Girardi was contacting the F.B.I. to reveal evidence of massive corruption in Arcadia's city government. Through a long chain of odd coincidences that began when he looked into Steve Ramsey's background, all that he needed to bring down those crooked politicians just sort of fell into Will's lap.

Glynis Figliola, knowing that Luke wasn't going to the dance with Grace, took the bold step of turning down Friedman's invitation so that she could ask Luke. Since they were both going anyway, Luke accepted but to Glynis' annoyance, he spent much of the night wistfully staring at Grace.

Adam and Friedman went stag to the dance and hung out for awhile talking about in turn art then science. They each overcame their varying degrees of shyness and asked for dances with a few of the girls who were without dates. They found to their surprise that working as a team, they could be moderately successful with the ladies.

Joan Girardi spent the night hanging with the popular crowd, enjoying the envious stares as she danced with her boyfriend, the wrestling team captain, Dax Hibbing. It was odd, but her attempt to find out about Grace's sexuality led to her and Dax meeting and dating. At first it was just so he could make his girlfriend Libby jealous, but he quickly realized he liked Joan a lot better than that clingy loon he had been stuck with for much too long. That night Dax and Joan slipped out of the dance early so they could go to a motel near the airport where Joan lost her virginity.

As for Ramsey and Grace, their appearance didn't freak out the other students as much as predicted. Grace wore a dress, but it was a modest black one with silver trim. Ramsey wore a suit but refused to wear a tie. They found they enjoyed hanging out together, and even the dancing wasn't the ordeal Steve feared it would be. At the end of the dance (which included no drama about whiskey for Steve was warned the medication he is now on does not mix well with alcohol), Steve drove Grace home and walked her to her door. It was Grace's first kiss.

To Be Continued.

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

PARTY

(And another chapter for Grace as God's instrument…)

X-X-X-X-X

1-16-04, Friday morning.

"Have a party, Girlfriend."

Grace looks over her shoulder and sees an unknown, nerdy little freshman.

"Get lost, creep."

"Your parents are on their way to Baltimore and you have the house to yourself all weekend long. You should have a party. It's what kids do."

Grace sighs. "You again. Isn't it bad enough I had to listen to your dumb anti drug lecture? And what was that crack about having experienced a really good kiss?"

"Weren't you able to relate? I saw you looking at Luke Girardi."

Grace blushes. Last week at the science fair, she and Luke presented their hastily constructed rail gun, and to their surprise, it worked (too well). After the excitement was winding down, and while all of those silly feathers were floating around, Grace couldn't help think this was a very romantic situation and some couple should take advantage of it to kiss. The same thought occurred to Luke, and throwing caution to the wind, he leaned in for a kiss that Grace reciprocated. For Luke it was the reward for months of diligent flirtation and lit the fuse for future romantic overtures. For Grace it was a moment of instant regret and guilt. After all, she has been with Steve Ramsey for nearly a month now...

"Wow, you have no concept of personal space, do you? And now you want me to throw a party at my house? You know how I feel about having people in my home."

"Due mostly to your concerns about your mother's drinking. She and your father are away visiting relatives, so that concern is eliminated. Have a party."

Nerd Boy God walks away, giving the usual backhand wave and Grace sighs again. She is a subdefective, a deliberate outsider who avoids interaction with groups of people and one who values her privacy above all else. Since becoming an instrument of God, Grace has had to step outside of her comfort zone a lot, but Grace Polk the party-giver? Who would even come?

X-X-X-X-X

At lunch Grace finds herself in the awkward position of having Luke to her right and Steve to her left. Both guys feign politeness toward each other, but they each know they share the same goal. For Grace she has the problem of being attracted to both guys, and okay – a little flattered to have two guys 'wooing' her. In a semi-official way Grace has been hanging with Steve ever since they went to the Crystal Ball together, but you couldn't really call what they are doing 'dating'. Mostly she, Adam and Steve have been re-establishing a longtime friendship that broke off abruptly when tragedy struck the group in the form of Adam's mother's suicide and Steve's mother's nasty divorce and hasty remarriage. The emotional strain at that time had been more than two boys could handle, and each, in their own way, went to a dark place. Now that Steve is taking medication to modify his anger, he has toned down the hostility. (Only two fights in a month instead of his usual two a day.) Often, after hanging with Adam for awhile, Steve would drive Grace home and they would share a light kiss or two. Grace has found this…confusing. To her surprise she likes kissing Steve, but wonders why he isn't doing the typical teen horndog routine of trying to…get more. She has concluded Steve is so concerned about damaging their renewed friendship, which is important to his recovery, he is holding back.

As for Luke…Grace admits to herself there is a strong attraction there. That kiss…at night Grace often thinks of that science fair kiss and wishes she were free to share more with Luke. They spend a lot of time together as their class schedules line up at several points in the day, and she spends a lot of time at his house studying. Grace is becoming very aware of how fond she is of the tall, blond geek and of course, she knows he is very attracted to her. Acting out of concern for her safety, and more than a little jealousy, Luke has been hinting that her relationship with Ramsey might not be safe. True, Steve has modified his behavior and is no longer considered a bullying, psycho gun nut, but that doesn't guarantee he is safe to be with. For Luke the presence of a rival has made him bolder in his pursuit of Grace, and he has even proposed they go on dates to various events. For Grace, wanting to be there for Steve in this delicate time, it has reluctantly meant turning down all invitations, but Luke continues to pursue.

"Grace, are you throwing a party?" Adam asks as he arrives at the table.

"Yeah, but how do you know? So far I've only told Luke and Steve."

Adam shrugs. "I don't know. It's all over school."

"It is? I'm just beginning to plan this dumb party and everyone already knows?"

Steve says, "I may have mentioned it to a few people."

Luke adds, "Me too."

"Well, it was bound to get out. Rove, you're coming, right?"

Adam hesitates. "Grace, you know I hate parties."

"Come on, Dude. My first party – I have to have my oldest, closest friend there."

Steve adds, "Yeah Adam, you'll have fun. You might even meet a girl."

"As if."

Luke says, "At the very least, you could make some interesting sketches of party mode teens."

As Adam contemplates this idea, Glynis and Friedman approach the table…

Friedman reports, "Seventy five confirmed guests."

Glynis adds, "Twenty of them seniors."

Grace groans in dismay. "Seventy five? What have I got myself into? How will I manage?"

Steve and Luke say in unison, "I'll help." (They then briefly glare at each other.)

"Uh, thanks guys. I wonder what I should serve…"

Luke suggests, "Chips and dip, plus stuff spread on crackers…"

Steve adds, "And pizza at some point, if you have the dough. No pun."

"Yeah, the 'rents left me a wad of cash to cover any contingency."

"And a keg!" Friedman says.

"Or two?" Glynis adds.

Grace hesitates. She is opposed to drinking due to her mother, but on the other hand, she certainly is experienced in handling drunks. With a gulp, Grace responds, "What's a party without a keg?"

X-X-X-X-X

"You're sure this buddy of yours can get us a keg?"

Ramsey replies, "Wally isn't exactly a 'buddy'. He's just a guy I know who occasionally sells a few beers to teens he thinks he can trust - for a few extra bucks. But I've never bought more than a six-pack from the guy. I'm not sure how well this keg idea will go over. Grace, are you sure you even want a keg?"

Grace understands Steve's concern. He is one of the few people who knows the truth about her mother, but has always kept the secret.

"Of course I don't want it, but if this party is to be a success, and I'm thinking for some reason it has to be a big success, then we have to have liquor of some kind. We'll go with one keg of light beer and try to keep the guests from getting too drunk."

They enter the liquor store and Ramsey frowns at the clerk behind the counter. "Problem. That's not Wally."

"I thought you said he always works this time of day."

"He does, or did. It's been a couple of months since I've been in here. What now?"

"We go forward with the plan."

"How do you know he will sell you the beer?"

"I don't, but these clerks work for little more than minimum wage. A lot of them must be open to bribery, otherwise where do teens get all of their booze?"

While Ramsey remains near the door, Grace walks confidently toward the clerk. Grace knows she has a mature face, and people often mistake her for being older than her true age. Maybe this time that will work in her favor.

"I need a keg of light beer for a party I'm having tomorrow night."

The clerk, a heavy set man, takes a drag on his cigarette. Grace refrains from reminding him that Arcadia recently passed a smoking ban. "Got i.d.?"

"Look, I'll pay you in cash and...throw in an extra 20?"

"Grace, what makes you think you need alcohol for your party? Doritos, Funyums, six packs of soda and a stereo that works. You're done."

Grace sighs. "And how many teenage parties have you thrown? When the first guests arrive and realize I'm throwing a 'dry' party, they'll text every kid in school and no one will show up. Or do you want the party to fail? For once, clue me in on the thinking here."

"I just want you to have a party, Grace. Enjoy an evening of recreation - making sure Steve and Luke are there."

"Of course they're coming, and since you won't guide me, I'll do things the way I see fit - including booze."

"Not from this store, and you will find at all of the other liquor stores in town, you will be carded."

Grace fumes for a moment, and just before storming out she charges, "You're setting a bad example. God shouldn't smoke!"

X-X-X-X-X

1-17-04, Saturday.

Grace looks around her home and sighs when she thinks of what the house will have to endure over the next few hours. At least they have done their best to be prepared...

"One last time over the checklist. Lamps and easily breakable bric-a-brac?"

Ramsey replies, "Secured in the garage. All of the overhead lighting has been tested and is working - including dimmer switches."

"Bedrooms and all family photos?"

"All family pictures are in the bedrooms, and the doors have been locked. Upstair and downstair baths are accessible and well stocked with...essentials." Luke replies.

"Good. If any romantic couple ever made it into my parent's bedroom..." (Grace shudders.) "And moving on: liquor cabinet?"

"Padlocked." Ramsey replies with a knowing nod. Before Luke arrived to help, Grace and Steve searched the house and found several hidden bottles of whiskey - her mother's stash. Fortunately her mother orders wine by the case and a few missing bottles will go unnoticed...

"Refreshments?"

Luke answers, "Plenty of chips and dips, cookies, assorted canapes, and pizza is scheduled to arrive about halfway through the night. There's coffee, tea, lots of soft drinks and...the wine punch. Grace, are you sure?"

"It's mostly fruit juice, but with enough red wine to smell and taste like liquor. In theory you could get drunk from this punch, but you would have to drink like a gallon of the stuff. I think we're safe..."

The doorbell rings.

"Okay, start the music and let's get this disaster under way."

X-X-X-X-X

To Grace's surprise her party is a big success. Just about every kid she knows, and a lot she doesn't know, are enjoying themselves with dancing, snacking, poker, and varying degrees of making out. There is a lot of mingling, and several couples have their start as a result of this party. Grace wonders if that is the idea - that God is more involved in love connections than she could have imagined. At any rate, the party is loud, joyous and a lot less damaging than Grace anticipated. Only at one point did she have to put her foot down when some girl she doesn't know tried to skateboard through the house...

"No way. One scratch on these floors and I'll make you eat that board!"

No more skateboarding. With Luke and Steve helping, they manage to keep a lid on the more than allowed level of partying. (Several couples make it upstairs only to find the bedrooms locked.) One jerk tries to pass around a joint to smoke, but Grace, with Ramsey's help, tosses the guy out. By the time the pizza arrives, Grace has managed to become calm about all of these people in her home and finds that she is actually enjoying herself. She dances with Steve and Luke a couple of times, as well as a few other guys. She even manages to coax Adam out on the 'dance floor' for one dance. By Adam's standards, even he is in party mode (mostly he sketches, but he does manage to talk to a few of his fellow art students). While enjoying a slice of pizza, Grace notices that her best friend has spent most of the night with a short, dark haired girl who seems vaguely familiar. As they talk on the couch, Grace drifts by to check out their conversation...

"I still think you would have won first prize at the art show. Your piece, 'Ascension', was brillant."

"Thanks, Iris." Adam replies, obviously interested in this 'Iris'.

"I still can't believe someone vandalized it just before the show."

"Yeah, that was hard to take, but in one way it helped me. I was getting kind of depressed for awhile, but remembering what someone did to my art made me so mad, it kept me from going deeper into a dark place."

Grace moves on, feeling a bit guilty. Back when God gave her the assignment of keeping Adam's sculpture out of the art show, taking it apart with a bolt cutter was the only thing she could think of. It took time, but she eventually understood the good ripples of that particularly difficult assignment. Grace continues to mingle and notices Joan Girardi and her boyfriend Dax Hibbing making out in a corner of the room. Grace tolerates the presence of Joan only for Luke's sake. Otherwise, she would never allow the ditzy cheerleader, social arbiter wannabe in her home.

As Joan and Dax kiss and lightly caress, she hopes this is as far as they will go tonight. A month ago, after being pressured by Dax, she gave herself to him on the night of the Crystal Ball. It was awful. Okay, she knows the first time is often bad, but over the last four weeks there has been no improvement in their physical relationship. Dax wants to do it all of the time, but he is truly inept at love-making. Quick and clueless, Dax seems utterly unaware of Joan's satisfaction - or rather, total lack of satisfaction. She has taken to faking her 'pleasure' in order to keep her boyfriend happy. Joan's fear is that if Dax suspects how much she hates being intimate with him, he will be offended and end their relationship. Joan is very aware that having the wrestling team captain as her boyfriend has elevated her to the highest level of social standing at Arcadia High. Now, if only she can convince herself that this is all worth it...

X-X-X-X-X

A mile away in an unmarked police car, Det. Carlisle and Sgt. Williams watch the abandoned house where a meth lab has temporarily set up business. There is an unusual amount of activity and the two detectives believe the drug dealers are about to move their base of operation...

"So, are we going in?" Carlsile asks.

"Still waiting on the call." Williams replies, referring to their immediate superior, Will Girardi, who has recently been made head of detectives in the reorganized police/sheriff's department.

"He's not the chief anymore." Carlisle responds, feeling a little annoyed. Will is away for a weekend with his wife, but he is still trying to run things from afar instead of trusting his detectives. It's not like he and Williams pinned their badges on yesterday.

Before Toni Williams can reply, her cell phone rings. Caller i.d. says Lt. Weinstein, who is the night watch commander. "Williams."

"Sergeant, I have a personal favor to ask you. We have had several complaints of a loud, teenaged party at 616 Oak Street."

"Are you really calling me away on a noise complaint?"

"I know, and normally I would just send a black and white, but that address belongs to my rabbi and his wife, and they are away for the weekend. They have a teenage girl. If you could handle this 'discreetly', I would definitely owe you a big favor."

Williams sighs. Helping out a superior officer with a personal problem has always a good career move. Besides, Will Girardi still hasn't called.

X-X-X-X-X

In the Polonsky family kitchen, Steve Ramsey diligently watches the crowd for signs of trouble, feeling oddly honored that Grace has trusted him to be 'security'. Occasionally he will stop an amourous couple on their way upstairs to let them know that everything but the bathroom is locked. There have been a few muttered disappointments about this, although that Joan girl seemed curiously relieved. No one has given Steve much trouble. Even though he has toned down his behavior a lot the last few weeks, he still has a reputation that intimidates.

A short, scruffy looking brunette approaches, looks Steve up and down and then smiles. "I know you. You're Ramsey - the bully, the gun nut, the trouble maker..."

"Yeah? Well, I know you too. You're Bonnie, the school's well known...uh..."

"Skank? Slut? Ho? That last one isn't true, by the way. I give it away for free." Bonnie says with a giggle.

"You're a little drunk."

Bonnie smiles. "Yeah, I had a couple before I came to the party. Just as well - this wine punch couldn't give anyone a buzz. You wouldn't know where I could get something with a little higher octane, would you?"

"The liquor cabinet is padlocked."

"With an impressive chain - yeah, I saw. But I'll bet you, as the sheriff-of-the-party, have the keys."

It is true. Grace has trusted Ramsey to handle all security matters, including keeping track of the keys to all that has been locked up.

Bonnie smiles again. "I thought so! I bet you even have the keys to the bedrooms. What's the matter Ramsey, you against people having fun? Going a little wild? You've been known to be wild."

Ramsey gulps. Clearly this Bonnie girl, with her own wild reputation, is flirting with him. "I...I'm trying to change."

"Not too much, I hope. I like the bad boys. They're hot!" Bonnie says with another giggle. "Are you still a bad boy, Ramsey? Or has Grace Polk tamed you? Huh? Does she carry your nads around in her back pocket?"

Steve's face begins to redden. He steps closer. "I make my own decisions. I'm my own man!"

"So, you're a 'man'? Why don't you prove it? Slip me a bottle of something stronger than this stupid punch, follow me upstairs, and I'll test just how much of a man you are."

Bonnie walks away, confident she has her prey hooked. As she slowly climbs the backstairs, she begins to unbutton her blouse. Quickly, Ramsey fumbles for the keys...

X-X-X-X-X

In the living room, just off the foyer, Grace is in the midst of the thickest part of the crowd. Still, she has no problem spotting Cute Boy God the moment he enters the room. He approaches, holds out his arms and Grace automatically begins dancing with him.

"How did you like your party?"

"It was...okay."

"Social interaction didn't turn out to be the nightmare you expected?"

Grace smiles. "It helped that my parents are on the other side of the state, but yeah, not so bad. I'm still wondering why?"

"Sometimes you need to pause from your work and life's routine in order to have a little recreation. In other words, a time to re-create, to begin again."

"What does this have to do with Luke and Steve?"

"When you have a fresh start, you need to look about and redefine whatever is not clear."

"And my relationships with Steve and Luke are not clear. Yeah, I get that. I'm just not sure how to...clarify."

"Follow your heart."

They dance for a few moments while Grace considers Cute Boy's words...

"Ramsey needs me. Besides, he was an assignment."

"Not a permanent one. You were to help Steve in a critical moment of his life, and you got him through that. He is in therapy again, back on his medication, and he has the support of his old friends, which is a big help."

"And the...romantic stuff between me and Steve?"

"At your highly hormonal age, friendships with the opposite sex often get confusing."

Grace looks over Cute Boy's shoulder and sees by the stairs in the foyer, Glynis doing her shy best to flirt with Luke. She has been at it most of the night, and since they have a lot in common, Luke has been slowly responding to her advances. An unexpected stab of jealousy goes through Grace's heart.

"So if I give Steve the heave-ho, it won't cause a relapse? I don't want the guilt of having him fail in his recovery."

"Would you stick with Steve, sacrifice your own happiness, to help him?"

Grace gulps but nods. "If I have to. I know how rough Steve has had it the last few years, and he was a friend for a long time. If I have to stay with him to keep him on the straight and narrow...I will."

"Many people believe in the concept of a 'noble sacrifice'. Helping is always good, but eventually people have to make their own way along life's path. Steve Ramsey derserves the opportunity to have his own free will choices - to succeed or fail on his own. You of all people should understand that, Grace."

"Like...the way my Dad is with Mom?"

"Living your life solely to prevent another's fall, even with the best of intentions, deprives both of their free will choices to find their best path. The support your father gives, the bubble of illusion he creates to prevent your mother's fall, deprives them of the chance for a better life."

"Or a worse one. I get that there is sometimes a need for tough love, but Dad acts out of love and kindness. He...braces Mom in a way that keeps her functioning. If he didn't...their marriage could fail."

"When love becomes an unyielding 'brace' that keeps you from moving forward, it is no longer a kindness to either person. Marriage, like most of life, is meant to flow like a stream. It was never meant to be a pool of stagnation."

Grace sighs. "So, I need to 're-create' my relationships with Steve, Luke and my family. That's a lot."

"You are up to the challenge, Grace. And now, your party ends..." Cute Boy God says as he walks away, giving the backhand wave.

The doorbell rings. The police have arrived.

To Be Continued.

Please review.

Thanks to Charles the Bold for his suggestions regarding this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

SILENT GIFT

Last chapter of this story.

X-X-X-X-X

5-24-04, Monday.

"I had the most peculiar dream last night." Sarah Polonsky announces.

"I noticed that you were restless. Was it a bad dream?" her husband asks.

"No, just very odd. I dreamed I was talking to God."

Grace Polk, who normally pays little attention to her parents' morning banter, pauses midway to her doughnut. "God…?"

"Yes Gracie, but it wasn't anything 'religious'. I was in the park across from Arcadia High when one of the students began talking to me. He was one of those horrible Goth kids – you know the type: black clothes, weird hair, lots of piercings…"

Rabbi Polonsky asks, "When did God appear?"

"That's the odd thing. Somehow I just knew this strange boy was actually God. He started by congratulating me on my sobriety…"

Grace's mind whirls. Months ago, after getting advice from God on redefining her relationships, she broached the ultimate taboo subject with her father: Sarah Polonsky's alcoholism. It was a difficult and tearful conversation during which Grace convinced her father they must stop being enablers of the family's secret shame. Their secret was openly revealed, dear friends and family gathered in an intervention and Sarah admitted her problem, resulting in 28 days in a rehab facility. Since Sarah's drying out and return home, the Polonskys have had the closest thing to a normal family life in years. But now…? Sarah's dream reminds Grace that the first time she spoke to God it was the Goth version in the park across from the school!

Sarah continues, "Then this…Goth God said it was time to stop ignoring my gift."

"Gift?" Grace squeaks out.

"Dreams and visions. According to this Goth deity, He has been sending me messages for years and it was time to start paying attention to them."

Rabbi Polonsky looks at his wife with the tiniest bit of wonder on his face. "Sarah…?"

"No dear, I'm not turning into some sort of prophet. It's just my subconscious playing with me. After a dozen years of non-stop intoxication of course I've had all kinds of weird dreams and…hallucinations, but I'm not taking this dream seriously. After all, it ended when the Goth character 'morphed' (if that's the right word) into Grace, saying our daughter is his favorite chosen instrument."

The Polonskys glance at Grace and mutually chuckle.

X-X-X-X-X

Joan Girardi walks silently alongside her brother as they approach Arcadia High. Luke notices his sister's level of distraction because by now she usually insists they separate so she will not be seen walking with a geek.

"Joan, are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure."

"We're almost to school. Remember, you declared it a brother free zone?"

Joan shrugs. "It's the last week of school. Who cares?"

Luke is surprised by the response. All year her social standing has been upmost in Joan's mind. "Well, I see Grace over in the park so I'm going that way."

Joan continues walking, too obsessed with whatever is bothering her to respond. Luke watches for a few moments, concern on his face. Since breaking up with her boyfriend Dax Hibbing back in February, Joan has been on a slow downward spiral due to her loss of social standing. Even though she is still a cheerleader, being without a top rung boyfriend has lowered her social ranking. Now, added to that, Joan has begun to act odd and secretive. Luke turns toward the park a block away and wonders why Grace is in deep conversation with some Old Lady…

"So why are you suddenly going after my Mom?" Grace asks.

"I once told you Grace that I speak to everyone in one form or another, but most people choose to ignore me. I have been communicating with your mother for years, but her constant drunkeness caused her to miss my messages."

"But now she is sober – thank you for that, so you're doing what with Mom?"

"Your mother has a great capacity to help others. If she chooses to heed my…hints, she can cause good ripples in a lot of lives."

Grace frowns. "I don't like this. Mom is in a delicate state and her nerves might not take it if you start messing around in her life. If she relapses…"

Old Lady God sighs. "Grace, after the year we have had, why do you still doubt me?"

Grace follows Old Lady God's gaze and she sees across the street her friends Adam Rove and Steve Ramsey greeting each other by the school entrance. The guys are accompanied by their steady girlfriends: Iris with Adam and Bonnie with Steve.

"Okay, things turned out great for those four. You're the best at pairing up unlikely couples who turn out to be good for each other. And speaking of couples, I see my boyfriend politely standing over there waiting for our conversation to end."

"Luke is such a nice boy. You should give him a gift."

"Luke gave me that pretty rock awhile back, but we're not really a gift giving type couple. Neither of us are particularlly into material things."

"Grace, give Luke a gift – something he will value."

Old Lady God stands and begins to walk away. Grace asks, "What about my Mom?"

The backhanded wave.

Luke approaches and asks, "What was that all about?"

"Oh, you know old people. They sit next to you, start talking and the next thing you know every other sentence begins with: Back in my day…"

"It was nice of you to listen to her."

"Hey, I can be nice."

"You can be very nice." Luke says as he leans in for a kiss.

Grace returns the kiss even though P.D.A.'s still bother her. They are far enough from the school that not many will notice. The kiss ends and Grace asks…

"What would you like?"

Luke chuckles. "Considering we are in public…"

"Cool it, horndog. I was thinking I'd like to get you a gift. Don't say sex."

"Aww."

"Seriously, what would you like?"

"Grace, I can't think of any particular 'thing' I'd want. My parents provide me with whatever is within reason. Why do you suddenly want to give me a gift?"

"I just do. Think hard, and remember the sex stuff is off the table."

Luke furrows his brow for a moment and then replies, "Well…there is something. Except, you wouldn't want to do it."

"Try me."

"It's really awkward having my sister and girlfriend being bitter enemies."

"We're not actually enemies. We both just realize that we are too different to ever get along."

"Be that as it may, if you are truly offering me a gift of whatever I would like, then this is it. Become friends with Joan."

"Friends? You couldn't settle for polite indifference?"

"Grace, she needs this. This year Joan has been hooked up with a crowd who encourage her most shallow inclinations. Joan needs an honest, no-nonsense friend to help her get grounded. Grace, please be that friend."

Grace sighs as she contemplates the enormity of this 'gift'. "Me, friends with Joan Girardi…"

X-X-X-X-X

His hand moves hesitantly to her breast and begins a light caress. It is pleasurable but Joan gently guides his hand away. He accepts the mild rebuke without complaint and their kissing continues. A small moan of pleasure escapes Joan's lips even as she worries about the two of them getting caught. Every morning for a couple of weeks now they have met in this supply closet (he bribed a janitor for a spare key) and their make out sessions have grown in duration and intensity. Joan has been enjoying herself in an illicit sort of way, but she has doubts about the wisdom of being with this boy.

"Oh Joan..."

"Shh. No talking. Kissing."

"But we never talk."

"We only have five minutes left before homeroom. Choose: talk or kiss."

The kissing resumes but Joan can sense a deep shift in his mood.

Joan sighs. "Okay fine, you want to talk - let's talk."

"I want to take you out on a real date."

"Not this again. NO times infinity. We only keep doing this as long as it is a secret. You swore..."

"I remember. You even made me put it in writing."

"And I'm holding you to it. No one can know!"

"You're ashamed of me."

"Duh."

"Joan, I really like you, and not just because we make out. I was hoping you were starting to like me...a little."

Joan sighs again. Why can't guys separate emotions from the physical stuff? "Maybe I do...a little, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to commit social suicide by being seen with you. Look, I'm enjoying our time together, and maybe we could start meeting after school too, but it has to stay a secret. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but that's the way it has to be, okay?"

"Yes, of course. It's not a problem." he replies, almost hiding the sadness in his voice.

"Thank you, Friedman."

X-X-X-X-X

Lunchtime in the cafeteria is always noisy as the din of hundreds of students in conversation fills the packed room. Grace sits with Luke and the other subdefectives at their usual table. The group has grown to include Ramsey and the two new girls, Iris and Bonnie. Grace isn't particularly fond of either girl: Squeaky Voice and Easy Lay, but she has made an effort to be semi-friendly to both for the sake of her friendships with Adam and Steve. Bonnie was especially difficult to accept since Steve ended up in at least a dozen fights defending the 'honor' of his new girlfriend. Wisely, he has learned his lesson and all fights are now conducted off of school grounds. It finally sank into the cro-magnon brains of the guys at school that making fun of Steve Ramsey's girlfriend - especially her past, meant a bloody beating. Now, at the end of the school year, everyone keeps their snickering comments to themselves.

Grace is distracted from the conversation around her as she is watching Joan over at the cool kids' table. Joan's lessened status is subtly proclaimed by her being at the end of the table instead of being at the center the way she was when she was still dating the wrestling team captain, Dax Hibbing. As Grace wonders how she will complete her assignment of becoming friends with Joan, it occurs to her she has never been successful in forming friendships with other girls. Maybe it goes back to when her only girlfriend, Becky, ended their friendship after seeing Grace's mother passed out drunk on the kitchen floor. She never really trusted another girl again. Now, she is suppose to become friends with a cheerleader? It's enough to make you gag.

"Earth to Grace - are you with us?"

"Huh?"

Ramsey says, "We were asking if you wanted in on Adam's plan for a trip to Mercer's Creek next week."

"Sure, sounds like fun."

Iris adds, "Remember to bring plenty of insect repellant. The first time 'A' took me there I forgot and I was bit by practically every kind of bug there is - everything from mosquitoes to ticks."

"I'll remember. Say, why don't we invite Joan to join us?"

Silence. The subdefectives look back and forth between each other aware of what an awkward moment this is with Luke sitting right there. Finally Adam clears his throat before responding...

"It's not like she wouldn't be welcome to come...uh, maybe 'welcome' is too strong. I mean..."

Steve jumps in. "Joan doesn't like us, and hasn't been shy about letting us know that. If you want to ask her Grace, be prepared for a 'no'. But even if she agreed, none of us would feel comfortable having her along. Sorry Luke."

Another silence. Luke feels that he should be defending his sister, but he knows he is hearing an honest and accurate response. Grace glances over again at the cool kids' table and notices how phony Joan's laughs and smiles really are. For the first time Grace realizes that Joan is miserable.

Grace states, "I'm going to ask her. For the sake of friendship, with me and Luke, I'm asking you guys to give her a chance."

Friedman responds, "Since Luke is my best friend, I'm willing to give this a try. How about it, guys?"

Adam says, "Cha. Anything for you, Grace."

The others add their agreement and Luke leans over to Grace and whispers, "Thank you."

Grace whispers back, "That was the easy part. Now, getting Joan to agree..."

X-X-X-X-X

Late afternoon. Nearly all of the students have departed Arcadia High. Usually one of the first to leave, Joan slips out a side door hoping no one will notice. Her first afternoon make out session with Friedman was great - he is a surprisingly good kisser - and to make it up to him for hurting his feelings earlier in the day, this time she didn't guide his hand away when he began to caress her breasts. Joan smiles as she remembers how much she enjoyed the experience. This whole 'relationship' with Friedman has been a surprising delight.

It started so innocently. Friedman was with the other subdefectives studying for a Spanish test up in Luke's room while Joan struggled with Math at the desk in the kitchen. Friedman came down for a few sodas and saw how close to tears Joan was in frustration over stupid, freakin' Geometry! He automatically offered his help, and he was soon able to make it clear to Joan how to work the problem that had her stuck. Friedman went back upstairs while Joan sat there a bit stunned. She didn't have to ask for help, she didn't have to flirt with him, he just offered because underneath that typical teen horndog exterior, Friedman was a genuinely nice guy. It was like discovering a diamond amongst lumps of coal.

After that, Joan secretly sought out Friedman's help with her studies and he agreed to be her tutor, and sure, he wouldn't tell anyone. As they began to work together, and as her grades improved, Joan began to notice that Friedman was actually kind of cute...in a geeky sort of way. Then, after she got the best grade of her life on a math final, Joan sought out Friedman to thank him and that impulsively turned into a very, very good kiss...

"Joan Girardi!"

Joan gulps and turns, feeling like she has been caught. To her surprise, she only sees another student - a very handsome boy...Clay Fischer! Yeah, she remembers now. He works at the school's radio station.

"Oh, hi...Clay."

"Hi yourself. I just finished my shift on the radio, but it's odd to see you here so late. Did you get detention?" he asks with a charming smile.

Joan blushes as she so often does when talking to a really good looking guy. "No, I was just...talking with a friend, and time sort of slipped away from me."

"Well, I'm glad I ran into you. Here it is the last week of school and I'm reminded that I forgot something very important."

"What?"

"To ask you out."

Joan blushes again, but she also smiles. Clay Fischer is a senior and definitely a Big Man On Campus. Dating him would have raised her social status as high as it was when she was with Dax. Maybe even higher. Drat, why did he have to put it off to so late in the year?

"I see you're speechless. Understandable." he says with another grin.

Joan grins back. "Someone has a high opinion of himself. Now why would any girl want to start up with you the last week of school? You're a senior and won't be back next year."

"True, but that doesn't mean 'any girl' wouldn't gain advantages from dating me, that is if she is interested in raising her social standing."

The two of them lock eyes and an understanding is formed. He understands how important it is to Joan to regain her social standing with the popular kids, and he expects...well, what every guy expects. Ever since Dax dumped her, Joan's reputation has been in tatters. She is now a 'goer' and everyone of the guys she has dated since Dax has expected sex as a given. All were disappointed. Joan has been thoroughly turned off of sex by her lousy relationship with 'minute man' Dax. (Her short make out sessions with Friedman have more foreplay than all of the times she was with her clueless ex-lover.) Clay will just be another of the disappointed.

"And what can you do for my social standing in less than a week?"

"Thursday is senior skip day. Every senior at school will be going to a series of parties at various people's homes for the blow out of the season. Only a handful of the super cool juniors get invited, and no one has ever invited a sophomore...until now."

A little gasp of excitement escapes Joan's lips. To be an invited guest to senior skip day would raise her status to the highest levels. Next year, when she was a junior, she would be legendary. Every popular kid at school would want to be her friend, would make sure she was on the list for every cool party and she would have her pick of any guy at school! (For a brief moment a twinge of guilt crosses Joan's soul as she remembers Friedman, but it passes. It's not like they are in a real relationship.)

"Clay, I'd love to go with you."

Clay grins. There is a twinkle in his eyes that all the girls found so charmingly irresistable. "Cool. I'll pick you up Thursday morning, and be sure to bring a bikini. Some of the houses have pools."

"I'll be ready, but maybe you should pick me up around the corner from my house."

"Gotcha. We wouldn't want the 'rents to know you are going to have the most fun day of your life."

They laugh, and after firming up their plans, a smiling Joan walks away happier than she has been in a long time. Clay watches her leave, admiring Joan's figure. Oh yeah, he definitely is going to enjoy this. He heard the rumors about Joan after Dax dumped her the day before Valentine's day (an especially cruel twist on his part). Every guy that dated Joan since Dax has bragged about getting into her pants, but Clay knows what liars his classmates are. He has guessed the truth. At a party a month back, Dax referred to his ex as a 'frigid bitch'. Clay figured that meant Dax was never able to satisfy Joan, and when she finally admitted that to her boyfriend, his fragile ego couldn't take it. So, Joan has never been satisfied by a man. Well, lucky for her, he is around. And just in case she really is too frigid to try...he has a certain drug he can slip into her drink.

X-X-X-X-X

Joan walks along Euclid Avenue feeling like she is floating on air. The first sophomore ever invited to senior skip day! There will be parties, dancing, astonished looks as people realize just how cool Joan Girardi is and most of all, she will be in position to seize the top spot in popularity next year. This almost makes up for the crappy time she had this year. Of course Joan knows she must be careful - there will be lots of drinking (don't get TOO drunk) and of course, drugs (Just say no.), but Joan is sure she can handle it. Of course Clay will be making his moves on her, and he is very cute and charming, but it would be unwise to start anything with a guy who won't be back next year. No, she will have to turn Clay down - with face saving sad regrets, of course.

"Hey, Girardi."

Joan snaps out of her reverie and realizes Grace Polk is walking beside her.

"What do you want?"

"I'm headed toward your house. Luke and I are going to join some of the others at Sal's to play video games. You should see how good Friedman is. He has top score on almost all of the games."

"I am not interested in anything having to do with Fr...with the subdefectives."

"So, you wouldn't be interested in an excursion to Mercer's Creek next week? Good food, lots of swimming, games and goofing off - stuff like that."

Joan briefly hesitates. It actually does sound like fun, but... "Why are you bugging me with this? I thought you hated me."

"I never said that."

"It was implied in all of the insults you've hurled my way."

"Okay, I'll admit we got off on the wrong foot."

Joan shakes her head. "I apologized about that. I wasn't really interested in...which choir you sang in."

"Yeah, I get it. Those girls you were hanging with at the start of the school year put you up to it. Forgive and forget, okay?"

"Is Luke putting you up to this?"

"Well, Luke and God."

"Oh, so this is like a part of your religious practice? Forgive thine enemies?"

"Are we enemies, Girardi? I never set out for it to be that way. You and I are different, very different, but does that mean we have to dislike each other?"

"It's the pattern we have fallen into. I guess for Luke's sake, and who knows - even God's, I guess we could make an effort to be civil to each other."

"So...you'll consider coming with us to Mercer Creek?"

"I guess. It seems unlikely I'll run into any of the other kids from school."

"Would it be so bad if you did?"

"See Grace, this is where you and I will never get along. Unlike you, I know that kids in high school judge you by who you hang with. I've worked hard to gain standing at our school, and it wasn't easy being a new kid from another city. It's important to me to keep that standing."

"Hey, it may surprise you but I get that. You hang with the 'cool' kids, but every group has their own standards of how to dress and how to act. I sometimes go to these anarchists' meetings and the other girls there dress almost as much alike as the cheerleaders at Arcadia High."

"Lots of leather jackets, boots and ripped jeans?"

"It's like a uniform."

"Then maybe you can understand why I have to be careful in how I act and who I hang out with, at least when other kids from school are around. How do your anarchist friends feel about you dating a geek like Luke?"

"I've never told them. Most of them think...I'm gay."

"Them too? Grace, it's your business but why are you so militantly anti-feminine? Considering how many times I've seen you and Luke in a clinch, I know you're not gay."

By now they have reached the Girardi home.

Grace says, "Privacy?"

Joan shrugs and leads Grace to the family's garage. Once inside, Grace begins to pace nervously.

"The thing is...guys have always scared me."

"Scared you? Is that why you've always dressed so...militantly?"

"Mostly, and the thing about fitting in with the anarchists. I always assumed I'd never fall for any guy, and I dressed in a way to keep them from being interested in me. I...let them assume I was gay as a defense mechanism."

"But then came Luke. I'll admit I was surprised when he became so fascinated by you. Like everyone, I assumed he was wasting his time, but somehow he got through to you."

Grace blushes and grins. "He's just the nicest guy I've ever met, not to mention persistant. I kept throwing roadblocks in his path and he kept pursuing. Finally I had to admit that Luke was cute and smart and charming and..."

"Eww."

"Okay, I get it, he's your brother. But, I really care for him...more than I thought I could ever feel for a guy." Grace says as tears begin rolling down her cheek.

"Grace, what's wrong? Has Luke...?" Joan hesitates. There are a lot of negative things she could speculate, but she doesn't want to say them about her own brother.

"No, Luke is such a sweet guy and I want us to be closer, but...I'm going to lose him."

"Why?"

"S-sex."

"It's no good?" Joan asks, thinking of her disastrous relationship with Dax.

"We've never done it. Luke hasn't been pressuring me, but he's a teenage boy and no matter how nice he is..."

"Hormones. Gotcha. So, when the time is right..."

"I'm afraid."

"Oh. Well, ever girl is the first time. I know I was, but you don't have to worry. Luke is a nice guy and I'm sure he...oh gross, I can't believe I'm about to say this. I'm sure he would be...gentle. Eww."

"I know that. I trust Luke, and...I care for him deeply. But, there's a problem...with me."

Joan sees the misery on Grace's face and her empathetic nature rises. "Grace, what's wrong?"

Grace is softly crying now. She can't believe she is about to reveal a secret she has never told anyone. In many ways it would be easier to tell Joan about her relationship with God than this...

"You've got to promise - really promise to say nothing."

"I swear."

"Starting when I was four years old..."

And so Grace divulges the secret she has kept bottled up for most of her life. How she was molested by an elderly neighbor who use to babysit her, and how it continued for nearly a year. It is the source of her anger, her rebellion, her mistrust of authority, and most of all, her fear of being able to respond normally to the joys of a sexual relationship. Long before she is done speaking, Joan has Grace held in a supportive hug, and Grace feels an enormous release in finally being able to unburden herself. Both cry. Both feel the building of a trust that will lead to true friendship.

After a long time of leaning on each other, and after crying themselves out, they pause to wipe away tears, blow noses and share brief grins of embarassed bonding...

"I've been making out with Friedman."

The mutual laughter begins.

X-X-X-X-X

5-28-04, Friday.

The last day of the school year. It is a short day that ends with a party in the park across from the school. At the start some were surprised to see Joan walking hand-in-hand with Friedman, but the big news of the day has topped that bit of gossip. Yesterday, at one of the pool parties on senior skip day, Clay Fischer was caught about to rape a girl he had drugged. Members of the football team, before calling the police, gave 'Cool Clay' a thorough beating, and fortunately his intended victim recovered without harm.

As Joan walks with Friedman, she is just grateful that she wasn't the one who was dating Clay yesterday. It went back to her conversation with Grace. When she revealed her make out sessions with the guy, Grace good naturedly kidded Joan about 'dating' him. This led to Joan vigourously defending Friedman as a great guy, followed by the revealation that she had real feelings for him. It became a clear choice to Joan that she could repeat her pattern of dating for social standing, or date a guy she truly liked. She cancelled the date with Clay, and even though she is nervous about it, Joan is letting it be publicly known she and Friedman are an item.

Again, few people took notice as the second distraction of the day came when Iris - who was in a three legged egg and spoon race with Gavin Price - suddenly began ranting about the vice-principal being the devil. Iris passed out and now an ambulance has arrived...

"Is she going to be okay?" Grace asks as she sees she has been again joined by Old Lady God.

"Yes Grace. Despite her high fever and brief hallucination, Iris will make a full recovery. You might want to mention to the paramedic that the girl was bitten by a tick not long ago. It will help them make the correct diagnosis of Lyme disease."

"I will. So that stuff Iris was shouting about Price...?"

"Just the fever. Don't worry Grace, you won't be meeting the devil...anytime soon. And congratualtions on fulfilling your latest assignment."

"On making friends with Joan? Huh, as much as I thought it impossible, she and I actually can get along. I thought I was there to make sure she doesn't get away with a lot of her bullcrap, but...she calls me on mine as much as I do her. Maybe...I need a friend like that."

"You're welcome."

Grace smiles. "So that was your plan all along? The gift I gave Luke was just your way of quietly giving me the gift of a friendship I needed."

"One that is of mutual benefit, which makes for the best of friends."

THE END.

Please review.

Dedicated to the late Kathryn Joosten, fondly remembered as Old Lady God.


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